Cor blimey, mate, you’re having a right dog’s dinner of a time trying to suss out your own feelings and who you are, aren’t ya? For some barmy reason, you’re taking the Mickey as the fall guy for every cock-up in your love life. Sure, you’ve been a bit of a plonker and played your part, but rather than giving yourself a good old mental thrashing, why not have a chinwag with your other half? Get it all out in the open, no more faffing about. And who knows? They might even thank you for it… or they might throw a fit. Either way, it’s better than bottling it up inside like a proper muppet. And for your lucky charm, how about a horseshoe? Not that it’ll do much good, mind you. Unless you plan on becoming a blacksmith or getting kicked by a horse, it’s about as useful as a chocolate teapot. But hey, it’s better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. Now, off you trot, you cheeky sod.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!