Crikey! If you’re scrounging about for a scheme to beef up your pitiful wallet, then get off your arse and do something about it, right bloody now! Whether you’re thinking of throwing your hat in the ring for a new gig, setting up your own dodgy enterprise or reshuffling your fiscal deck of cards, there’s no time like the present. So, pull your finger out and crack on! Your lucky phrase for the day: “Fortune favours the brave, but not the idiotic. So, tread carefully, you numpty!” Now, isn’t that a cheeky little nugget of wisdom to stick in your cap?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!