Blimey, love! Of late, it seems like other blokes and birds, or even the bloody weather, have got you feeling like you’re on strings like a demented puppet. Well, stick a fork in you, you’re done! Your attitude’s changing faster than a chameleon on a rainbow. You’re not about to let anyone else play puppeteer with your life, no siree! You’re grabbing the reins and making your own cock-ups from here on out. If you’ve been feeling a bit peaky lately, keep your chin up. Every day’s a step closer to flexing your muscles and showing that illness who’s boss. Just remember, ‘sick’ is just ‘kick’ with an ‘s’ for silly! Now, here’s a bit of a laugh for you. Your lucky item? A rubber duck. Yes, you heard right. A rubber bloody duck. It’s not just for bath time, you know. Keep it close and it’ll bring you luck. Might even make you quackers, but hey, at least you’ll be having a laugh.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!