Cor, blimey! Keeping on top of your drab paperwork is about as entertaining as watching paint dry, innit? But it’s as crucial for your career as a proper cuppa is for a Brit’s sanity. Stop inventing more cock and bull stories to avoid it, you lazy sod! Buckle up and face the music with a bit of that stiff upper lip. You�ll be rolling in it before you can say ‘Bob’s your uncle’. Don’t be a daft old twit and make a dog�s dinner of it. And here’s a lucky charm for you: a rubber duck. Yes, you heard me right, a bloody rubber duck! Because when your life is in a right old pickle, nothing says ‘I’ve got my sh*t together’ like a bath toy.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!