Crikey, love, you’re scoffing down all those crisps and kebabs like there’s no tomorrow, ain’t ya? Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if you carry on like this, there might not be a tomorrow for you! Instead of stuffing your face with all that greasy muck, why don’t you try something a bit more nutritious, like a salad or a fruit? Dodging the crisps and giving a wide berth to those lardy garnishes will have your insides singing hallelujah. And speaking of dodging, it seems you’ve been swerving your work duties like they’re an ex at a party. Pull your socks up, mate, and tackle those responsibilities head-on. After all, you can’t hide under your duvet forever, can you? Or maybe you can, but don’t come crying to me when your boss gives you the boot! Oh, and here’s a little lucky number for ya – Seven. But don’t go using it on the lottery or anything. After all, with your luck, you’d probably win and then lose the ticket!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!