Blimey, some old codger in your life is acting more standoffish than a posh bloke at a pie and mash shop, all because you got handed a golden goose of an opportunity. Makes you wonder if they’re really invested in this endeavour, or if they’re just a dog chasing cars. And what’s this? Your bosses aren’t showering you with praise? Well, welcome to the real world, sweetheart. It’s not all roses and rainbows. Keep in mind, the real prize isn’t their recognition, but your own smug satisfaction. Lucky charm: A gold coin. Keep it in your shoe. Just don’t complain when you get a foot cramp, you superstitious nitwit.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!