Listen up, sunshine, it’s a veritable soap opera round your manor this week! You and your other half, or perhaps some relation you tolerate, are going at it hammer and tongs over nonsense. Little things like who left the toothpaste cap off or who nicked the last Jaffa Cake. It’s all delightfully petty, isn’t it? And you, darling, must be as precise as a Swiss watch when it comes to your dosh and your stuff. Make sure the other party’s doing the same, else they’ll have you over a barrel, and not in a fun way. And for the love of all things holy, if you let your precious items out of sight, kiss them goodbye. It�s like lending a book to a mate, you’ve got more chance of seeing Lord Lucan on Shergar than getting it back. And here’s your lucky charm: A ham sandwich. Yes, you read that right. Carry it in your pocket for good luck. Just don’t sit on it, else you’ll have a bum that smells like a deli counter.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!