Blimey mate, you’re up to your eyeballs in a right muddle at work, ain’t ya? Can’t get a word in edgeways without tripping over your own tongue. Instead of trying to be some sort of Shakespeare, just chill your beans and let the gab flow like a pint at the local. When you’re nattering, don’t spout off like a broken teapot. Be sharp and snappy, or you’ll end up sounding like a right plonker. Give ’em just enough to get the job done, then scarper like you’ve nicked the last biscuit from the tin. Lucky charm – A rubber duck. Why? Because even when you’re up to your neck in hot water, it’s always got a smile on its face. Plus, it’ll make bath time more fun when you’re washing off the day’s bollocks.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!