If there’s a bit of a sticky wicket to chinwag about, it’d be a proper corker to set up a natter in person with the bods involved, mate. When you put someone on the spot, face-to-face, you’re more likely to get the answer you’re after, or at least suss out if they’re telling porky pies. A measly text could be tossed aside like a bad curry, or taken as seriously as a royal wedding in Vegas. Lucky charm: A banana. As appealing as a politician in a mankini. Don’t ask why, just go with it. It’s probably less ridiculous than whatever you’re currently doing.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!