You’re currently swanning around in your own personal fog of smugness, high on a few rare, happy moments you’ve managed to stumble upon. Expect some nitwit to come grovelling, sorry for their recent bout of acting like a complete twit. With your current zen-like state of mind, brought on by an overdose of relaxation and a gallon of optimism, any leftover aggro will vanish quicker than a politician’s promises. Your dedication to living like a bloody saint is finally showing some dividends, you goody two-shoes. Lucky charm: A bar of soap. Because with the amount of filth coming out of your mouth, you’re going to need it. Now scrub up, you dirty devil!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!