If you’re in dire straits for a bit of dosh to kick-start a moneymaking scheme, throw yourself into a charity gig, or park your backside in a uni lecture hall, you might want to grovel to the big wigs in Whitehall. Sure, you’ll have to deal with a mountain of forms that would give even the most hardened bureaucrat a right headache, but trust me, it’ll be worth it once you’re rolling in it. Buckle up, buttercup, things are about to get a tad bit different here! Lucky tip for you: If you’re ever in a pickle, just remember the old adage, “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”. But between you and me, if you’ve got a bird in your hand, you’re probably at the wrong kind of party.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!