Darling, your cash flow is more like a never-ending drunken stagger between the pub and the cashpoint. You’re about to reach that one special goal – no, not the bottom of the gin bottle, the other one – and bang! You’re hit with a bill as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. Now, don’t throw a wobbly or go all woe-is-me. Even if you feel like you’ve been used as a mop at a sumo wrestlers’ sauna, give it one more heave-ho and you’ll finally get where you’re going. As for your lucky charm, grab yourself an old sock. Why? Because like your bank account, it’s always good to have something that’s used to being empty yet still holds its shape. Keep it close, dear. You never know when you’ll need a good laugh… or a quick place to stash your gin.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!