Blimey, you’ve been running round like a blue-arsed fly trying to keep everyone chuffed, haven’t you? Well, newsflash, you’re not a bloody chocolate teapot; you can’t make everyone’s cup of tea. You’ve had a rough ride lately, but it’s not like you’ve been caught with your trousers down. It’s time to pull up your socks and crack on with your duties, the best you bloody well can. Keep your pecker up and stick to your guns. You’re not Marmite, you can’t please everyone, so just try to appease the little bugger in the mirror. Lucky tip for you: Wear matching socks. It’s a minor miracle if you can find a pair that match, but it might just keep your feet from looking like they’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards. Plus, you’ll avoid the embarrassment when you take your shoes off at your mate’s house and one sock is pink while the other is a Christmas themed monstrosity.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!