Right now, darling, all you’re after is a bit of hush and tranquillity, a chance to avoid the rabble and enjoy a smidge of me-time. You’re slap bang in the middle of a sabbatical, so bugger the world and focus on your own jollies. Now’s the bleeding time to dust off those tomes you’ve been itching to crack open or stick on that film you fancy. And for a lucky charm, why not try wearing your pants inside out? It’s a classic move for the truly desperate. Who knows, it might just help you to stumble upon some good fortune, or at least give the neighbours a right old giggle!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!