Blimey, mate! You’re juggling more balls than a blind juggler in a circus. If your job’s giving you as much joy as a bout of constipation, maybe it’s time to level the playing field and stop letting ’em take the mick. You’re as open to new ideas as a nun in a sex shop. Got a mate or a work chum keen on dabbling in a bit of tomfoolery? Could turn out better than a curry after a night on the lash! Now, let me give you a bit of good news: your lucky phrase is “Keep your knickers on!” Use it wisely or it could be a bigger disaster than a fart in a spacesuit. Oh, and remember, it’s only as lucky as the idiot saying it!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!