Right, listen up love. If you’ve got even a smidge of doubt about some dodgy bloke or bird, tell ’em to sod off with their offers, alright? No need to be dilly-dallying around with uncertain characters at this moment in time. And for God’s sake, don’t you dare use that as an excuse to become a couch potato. Even if the mere thought of socialising makes you want to stick pins in your eyes, you better pull on your big girl knickers and get stuck in with whatever bloody Zumba class or footie match the gang’s up to. At least you’ll be moving your derriere, won’t you? And here’s a lucky phrase for you to mumble under your breath when the going gets tough: “Stiff upper lip and all that bollocks.” It’s got a certain charm to it, don’t you think? Just remember to chuckle when you say it, lest you be mistaken for a bloody Eton toff.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!