Hold onto your knickers, love! You’re about to embark on a jaunt that’ll make your wallet feel like it’s been mugged by a pack of rabid squirrels. You reckon it’s for a chinwag or a job grilling, but by the time the sun goes down, you’ll wish you’d stayed home and watched paint dry instead. It’s going to be the financial equivalent of a colonoscopy without anaesthesia. Your lucky charm is a moth-eaten pound coin. Yes, it’s as useful as a chocolate teapot, but it’s all you’ve got, darling!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!