You’re all set, love, to dive back into that pile of chores you’d tossed aside faster than a bad date a few weeks back. Time? Who needs it when you’re a one-man band? Some folks may raise an eyebrow, but you’re not after their two cents. No, no, no! You’re chuffed to bits to slog through the muck alone, you masochistic muppet. Your lucky charm is a turtle. Why? Because it’s slow, steady and carries its home on its back, just like you with your ever-growing list of chores. To be honest, I reckon you’d lose a race against it.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!