Alright, listen up, you lazy lump. Instead of being a couch potato, get some motivation from that dingy hole you call nature. Keep your peepers on the skies, it might stop you from tripping over your own feet for once. Sunsets, stars, some bloke’s overpriced garden and a dirty old beach, it’s all there to brighten up your dull existence and give you that much-needed emotional Viagra. Go ahead, mingle with some fresh faces, share your daft ideas, it’s not like you’ve got anything better to do. And for heaven’s sake, don’t be a shy wallflower, let out those feelings! It’s either that or you’re going to explode like a shaken bottle of cheap champagne. Oh, and here’s a lucky phrase for you: “I’m not as think as you drunk I am.” Remember to use it next time you’re caught stumbling out of the pub. Might give the bobbies a chuckle before they haul you off.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!