Blimey, you’ve got a surprise journey on the cards, love! Even if it means giving your schedule a right royal shuffle, you’re not going to want to miss out on this jolly jaunt. If your bread and butter comes from teaching the ABCs, slapping on plasters, imparting wisdom to uni students, or playing a real-life game of Monopoly with the legal system, you’d better be quick on the draw, sweetheart. The chances coming your way are as fleeting as a politician’s promise, so don’t dilly-dally, darling! Your lucky charm, darling, is a well-worn horseshoe. Why? Because it’s as close to a horse’s backside as you’ll ever get without having to shovel the… well, you know.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!