Listen, darling, some old fogey you’re unfortunate enough to be related to, or perhaps work with, is about to stick their oar in. They’re going to start nattering on about your grand ideas like they’re Simon Cowell at a karaoke contest – full of snide remarks and unsolicited advice. But let me tell you, they wouldn’t know a good idea if it came up and bit them on their saggy arse. Now, they might make you feel like they think your plans are about as useful as a chocolate teapot, but don’t let it get you down. Don’t feel you have to spill your guts to every Tom, Dick and Harry. Remember darling, opinions are like arseholes, everyone’s got one and most of them stink. Now, for your lucky charm, it’s a potato. Yes, you heard right, a spud! It’s got about as much charm as that nosy parker who’s been giving you gyp, but if you keep it in your pocket, it could bring you a bit of luck. Just don’t leave it there too long or you’ll be growing your own chips!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!