Oi, enough with the social butterfly act, it’s time to park your bum at home, you elusive creature. Some poor sod in your clan is going through a right old kerfuffle and they’re crossing their fingers that you’d be around to bear the brunt of it. They’re desperate to natter about their thoughts and grand schemes on some never-ending drama, so brace yourself. There’s a relative or housemate who’s up the creek without a paddle and you’ll know exactly who the blighter is. Your lucky charm this week, my dear, is a pair of earplugs. Trust me, with all the gabbing you’ll be subjected to, you’ll be thanking your lucky stars for this nifty little lifesaver. Don’t forget, silence is golden – especially when Uncle Bob starts his conspiracy theories.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!