Blimey, you’re knocking out accomplishments like a one-legged man at an arse-kicking contest, and it’s all thanks to the bunch of do-gooders you’ve got around you! When everyone’s stirring the pot, the soup doesn’t taste half as shite and some of your endeavours might even tickle your fancy. This happy-clappy vibe will seep into your social life, where a knees-up with your mates will have you all grinning like Cheshire cats on steroids. Lucky charm: A four-leaf clover. Stick it between your bum cheeks and pray it brings you luck. God knows it can’t make things any worse!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!