Oi, you cheeky bugger! No one needs to send you a bloody carrier pigeon for a second invite if there’s a sniff of a lark that’s a bit out of left field, now, do they? You’re gagging for a break from being the responsible adult, ain’t ya? Fancy kicking back with a corny flick, a stuffy play, some bloke kicking a ball around, or a tune that isn’t your neighbour’s bloody karaoke. Lucky tip for ya: Try wearing a pair of lucky pants for a change, might stop you from making a complete arse of yourself!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!