Blimey, darling, if your current slog or shoddy shack is making you feel like a dog’s dinner, stop faffing about and consider shaking things up a bit. It might be a faff at first, but in the end, it’ll be like swapping a mouldy crumpet for a fresh scone, won’t it? Now listen up, your lucky item for the day is a rubber duck. Yeah, you heard me right, a rubber duck. Trust me, it’s the only thing that won’t argue back when you’re ranting about your awful day. Plus, you can chuck it at any nincompoop who’s doing your head in. There’s your tip, love!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!