Well, love, get ready to strap your brain on tight for the upcoming week. Yes, you’ve got to keep that noggin clear, even if it’s as cloudy as a British summer! I know, the temptation will be as strong as a lager at a local pub, but don’t let your emotions run the show like a drunken MC at a karaoke night. Weigh up the pros and cons like you’re deciding between a dodgy kebab or a questionable curry after a night out. Go for the one that seems least likely to give you a nasty surprise in the morning. And here’s your lucky charm for the week: a two-quid coin. Why? Well, it’s about as useful as a chocolate teapot, but it might just remind you to keep your wits about you. After all, there’s a thin line between being a penny wise and a pound foolish!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!