Well, darling, you’ll be working your arse off trying to stay afloat in this ocean of mundane bollocks. Finding a moment to have a kip will be as tricky as trying to nail jelly to a ceiling – a right bloody palaver. As a result, you might end up feeling as emotionally spent as a politician’s promise and as physically knackered as an overused tea bag. So, for the love of sanity, don’t take on any more to-dos, unless you fancy keeling over. Your lucky phrase for the day: “Bugger off, I’m knackered!” Use that one wisely, love. It’s as golden as our Queen’s Jubilee and just as charming.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!