“Listen here, darling, your job and a laundry list of other ‘oh so important’ tasks are gonna have you run ragged, like a hen’s rear end at a pecking party. You’re feeling a smidge like you’ve got as much choice in your life as a vegan at a barbecue, aren’t you? And it seems like your grafting is as noticed as a whisper in a hurricane, while the world and his wife are demanding more from you than a cash machine on payday, without a bloomin’ clue about your circumstances. Now, for your lucky bit of fluff: Your lucky number is 7. Why 7, you ask? Well, darling, it’s because you can’t handle any more than that. Have a crack at using it and see if your day gets any better. If not… well, at least it’s not Monday!”

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!