Cor blimey, don’t throw in the towel just because the 9-to-5 is giving you a bit of a rough ride. Keep your knickers untwisted, take a proper deep puff, and for heaven’s sake, stop giving your workmate the evil eye. Rushing headlong like a bull in a china shop will only turn a molehill into a mountain. So, pull up your socks, and get stuck into that mess methodically, like you’re scrubbing down the loo after a curry night. Your lucky charm? A rubber duck. Yes, you heard me right. A bloody rubber duck. Why? Because despite your sinking career ship, at least you’ll have something that floats!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!