Listen here, darling, it’s high time you got your affairs in order, ain’t it? And I’m not just talking about the ones you had at the office Christmas party. I’m referring to your financial foibles, love. Those tax forms, insurance claims, and that inheritance you’ve been avoiding like an ugly bloke at the pub, they ain’t going to sort themselves out, pet. And let’s not forget about property matters. You’ve treated them like your ex’s texts – ignored and shoved into the back of a dark drawer. Well, honey, it’s time you grew a pair and faced the music. Look at it this way, it’s either you tackle it or it’ll tackle you, and trust me, it ain’t as fun as it sounds! And here’s a little nugget for you, love. Your lucky phrase is “I’m minted!”. Repeat that mantra every morning in front of the mirror. You might not believe it now, but it’s bound to work eventually… or at least it’ll give you a good laugh to start the day.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!