Blimey, have you got your knickers in a twist over some chinwag or someone’s dodgy behaviour? Before you start gobbing off and potentially make a right tit of yourself, put a sock in it and ponder if you’re reading the tea leaves right. This is particularly crucial when you’re poking your nose into stuff you don’t have a bloody Scooby about. Lucky tip for you: A closed mouth gathers no foot. Whip out this phrase when you’re on the brink of dropping a bollock, mate. Might save you from looking like a total pillock!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!