Well, darling, it appears you’ve gone and cocked up in the most spectacular fashion – wouldn’t be surprised if the Queen herself couldn’t sort it out. You’ve been playing Sherlock Holmes in your own life, digging up dirt in your domestic doo-dahs and financial fiascos. Turns out, the more you probe, the deeper the muck gets and heavens, didn’t you uncover a pile of it. It’s like finding out your favourite handbag is a knockoff, only worse, because you’ve been carrying it around proudly. Lucky charm for you? A blindfold, love. Next time, you might avoid seeing the disaster coming. And remember, even a blind squirrel occasionally finds a nut – let’s just hope it’s not a rotten one.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!