Blimey, a decrepit old relative’s gonna give you a nudge towards the straight and narrow, mate. You’ve got a family row to sort out that’s bigger than the Queen’s hat collection, but don’t get your knickers in a twist. A dollop of banter is all it takes to keep things from going pear-shaped. Throw in a few belly laughs and even Aunt Edna’s famous stink-eye will soften. Just remember, it’s like having a curry – a bit spicy, might cause a bit of gas, but ultimately, bloody satisfying! Your lucky charm? A rubber chicken. Why? Because if life starts taking the mick, you can always smack it with a rubber chicken. Plus, it’s great for awkward silences.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!