Listen up, sunshine. Whether you’re squashed in a tube carriage with half of London or just sharing a pint with the usual suspects down the local, you’ll find there’s always someone nearby who thinks they’re as big a deal as you do. It’s like looking in a mirror, but without the disappointment. You’ll feel more at home with the numpties who always ‘get’ you – or at least pretend to. They’ve got as much sense as a chocolate teapot, but they do make good listeners. Get ready for some chinwags that’ll have you dreaming big – or just dreaming of a way out, depending on how many pints you’ve had. And for your lucky charm, how about a four-leaf clover? It’s a bit cliche, but then again, so are you. Don’t worry, it’s not like you’ll actually find one. In fact, the chances are about as slim as a supermodel after a stomach bug. So, good luck with that!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!