You’re in a right pickle, aren’t you? You thought you were Houdini, but turns out, you’re more like a hedgehog stuck in a crisp packet! You’ve got a bunch of numpties hanging on your every move, expecting you to carry on ticking like Big Ben. Now you’re thinking of diving headfirst into a chaos stew, and on top of it, you’ve got a work dilemma that’s stickier than a toffee pudding on a hot summer day. You must be off your trolley! Lucky charm: Here’s a tip, love – when life hands you a cactus, don’t sit on it! It might not be a golden ticket out of this mess, but at least your bum will thank you.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!