Blimey, if some random blighter shows up at your gaff, don’t just roll out the red carpet and pop the kettle on. If their chat smells fishier than a seaside chippy, tell ’em to do a runner. Got the collywobbles about some money malarkey or business bollocks? Don’t just sit there like a lemon. Get a chinwag with someone who knows their arse from their elbow. Just make sure they’re not a complete muppet. And here’s a cheeky bit of wisdom for you: Your lucky colour is blue. Now, I’m not saying it’ll make you look any less of a mug, but it might distract from that haircut of yours.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!