Listen up, sunshine. Sometimes, it’s like you’re stuck on a never-ending episode of ‘Fawlty Towers’, isn’t it? It’s a bit of a struggle being patient when you’re surrounded by absolute numpties. But you’re British, remember? Stiff upper lip and all that rot. Just keep your nose out of any squabbles that don’t have your name on them, and things should start looking up in a tick. If you’re caught in a bit of a kerfuffle, work on it. Find a compromise, even if the other party is as thick as two short planks. And remember, your lucky item this week is a cucumber sandwich – perfect for when you’re feeling peckish and need to throw something at the next twit who annoys you. Funny how the most mundane things can suddenly become weapons of mass distraction, isn’t it?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!