Well, love, you’re about as excited about this community do as a cat being offered a bath. Yet somehow, you’re roped in, probably due to that nasty case of British politeness we’re all plagued with. This shindig, in its sad, pitiful state, will have you tickled pink, like a drag queen in a feather shop – bizarre, but true! Keep an eye out for a bloke or bird with a sense of humour so sparkling, they could brighten up a funeral. They’ll be the one turning your day from dreary to a bit less crap. Now, here’s a luckier than a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest charm for you – a pair of mismatched socks. Odd, you say? Remember, it’s as useful as a chocolate teapot, but it’s the thought that counts!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!