Now listen ‘ere, love. When you’re diving headfirst into something as unfamiliar as a politician’s promise, do keep your wits about you. It won’t be but a hot minute before you’re waltzing through new routines like a fox on a trampoline. And once you get the hang of these, you’ll be handling new tasks with less effort than it takes to keep a straight face at a nudist bingo night. So stop your moaning and keep your chin up � there’s every reason to be as cheerful as a seagull with a stolen chip about your antics and the progress you’re making. And here’s your lucky charm: a horseshoe. But remember, it’s only lucky if it fell off a horse – not if you yanked it off yourself. That’s just mean and likely to get you a swift kick in the unmentionables.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!