Listen up, darling, you’re usually one for planning things like a military operation, aren’t you? Every ‘t’ crossed, every ‘i’ dotted, you’re like a one-person Swiss army knife, ready for anything. But you know what they say about the best laid plans, don’t you? They’re just as likely to go tits up as a hen at a fox convention! You’re all set, everything in its place, and then life comes along, kicks you in the shins, and there goes your momentum, rolling down the hill like a bloke in a barrel. And you, you’re left standing there like a numpty with your knickers in a twist! And don’t even get me started on new places. You step foot in a different postcode and it’s like you’ve had a spiritual awakening. One whiff of unfamiliar air and you’re all misty-eyed and emotional, like you’ve just watched a marathon of EastEnders Christmas specials. As for your lucky bit, consider carrying an umbrella. Not only will it save you from the unpredictable British weather, but it could also double as a weapon when people get on your nerves! And remember, darling, it’s all in the wrist action.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!