Here’s your horoscope, love, straight from the stars and as cheeky as a bare-bottomed baby on a cold day. Looks like a mate of yours will be showing you how to find the funny side of those domestic squabbles. It’s like a bloody episode of EastEnders at your house, ain’t it? And then there’s this sod who’s always taking the piss out of you. Don’t get your knickers in a twist about it, think of it as their twisted way of saying they fancy you. And on the topic of volunteering, it seems it might not be all jam sandwiches and brownie points. Who knows, you might even stumble upon something halfway decent while you’re at it. Lucky phrase for you: “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” But remember, if you’ve got a bird in your hand, make sure it’s not a bloody pigeon. They’re just rats with wings, aren’t they?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!