Blimey, it’s like a bloody war zone in your family circle, isn’t it? You’re scrapping with your old nan and it’s left you wondering if the old bat’s speaking English or bloody Martian. Don’t fret, you haven’t lost your marbles, you’re just a tad wound up. Take a bloomin’ breather, mate, soon you’ll be dodging her dentures like a pro. Your lucky phrase for the day, “Pants on fire,” might come in handy when you need to lie your way out of another family squabble. Just remember, if your trousers actually ignite, that’s not luck, that’s karma for fibbing to your nan!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!