Well, darling, if you’ve found yourself stuck in the same old rut, bored out of your wits with daytime telly, and the four walls of your gaff are closing in, it’s high time you got your backside off the sofa and did a bit of good in the world. Why not give volunteering a whirl around your local area? You’ll be gobsmacked at just how much difference your sorry self can make to other people’s lives. Go on, it’s better than watching paint dry or the endless re-runs of “Only Fools and Horses”. Besides, it’s a brilliant way to forget about your own problems, which, let’s face it, are probably about as interesting as watching a sloth on sedatives. And here’s a little nugget of wisdom for you: your lucky phrase this week is “I’ve lost my knickers.” Use it wisely, and at the right moment. Who knows, it might just get you out of a tight spot. Or, you know, into one, depending on how you play your cards.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!