Alright, love, grab your knickers and brace yourself – it�s time for some brutal honesty, British style. No more faffing about like a headless chicken and avoiding your problems, alright? If you want to solve that big mess of yours, you’ve got to face it head-on, like a bull in a china shop, only less clumsy hopefully. You’re as knackered as a one-legged man in a bum-kicking contest with the same issues popping up like a Jack-in-the-box on Red Bull. It’s like a bad episode of EastEnders on repeat, ain’t it? And that so-called mate of yours, well, they need to pull their head out of their arse and realise this dog and pony show can’t go on. Now, for a bit of luck, your lucky phrase is “Bob’s your uncle.” I know, it sounds daft, but just roll with it. Every time you’re in a pickle, just mumble that under your breath and see if it doesn’t make you chuckle. Just remember, if anyone asks, you didn’t hear it from me.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!