Well, blimey! Usually, you’re sharp as a bloody tack when it comes to sniffing out the porkies people tell you. But today, love, you’ll be about as good at distinguishing fact from fiction as a blind man in a burlesque show. So, don’t go rushing off making decisions willy-nilly, alright? Keep your wits about you and lend an ear to that sensible mate of yours. They might be as exciting as a wet weekend in Skegness, but they tend to know what’s what. Oh, and here’s a lucky little nugget for you: always carry a rubber duck. Yes, you heard right, a rubber duck. Don’t ask why, just trust me. It’s like a lucky rabbit’s foot but less gruesome and more bath-friendly. You never know when you’ll need to make a quick escape down the bathtub!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!