There’s a right royal ruckus brewing in your piggy bank, darling. Either you or your other half have been throwing dosh around like it’s confetti at a wedding, and now you’re in debt up to your eyeballs. It’s about time you pulled your head out of your arse and put on your thrifty knickers. So, stop splashing out on unnecessary tatt and start focusing on pulling your finances out of the shitter. It’s time to get creative with the cash, love. Maybe start charging for your witty one-liners or sell off that monstrous hat collection of yours. And here’s a cheeky bit of luck for you – your lucky phrase is “money doesn’t grow on trees, but apparently, it sprouts in the sofa cushions”. Next time you’re plopping your bum down for a Netflix binge, have a good rummage between the cushions. You never know, you might find enough for a bag of chips and a pickled egg.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!