Blimey! Hold your horses! There’s a jaw-dropping revelation coming your way, mate. It’s about some tedious lecture or the education of some sprog in your brood. Whether they’ve just managed to scrape through an exam, or by some miracle wormed their way into a university, or even, heaven forbid, become a teacher, this bit of news will have you chuffed to bits. So, throw caution to the wind, get your glad rags on, and paint the town red. Your lucky charm: A rubber chicken. Why? Well, you could use a laugh, and it’s just as useful as any other charm you’ve tried!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!