Blimey, you’ve gone and started a right kerfuffle at the old homestead, haven’t you? You’re trying to turn your rat-infested dump into a peaceful haven, but it’s like putting lipstick on a pig. You’re considering adding a waterfall feature? Are you mad? You’ll probably flood the place. And adding houseplants? They’ll likely die faster than a snowball in hell. If you ask me, you’re just putting off the inevitable. You’ve outgrown your shabby shoebox like a fat bloke in a small shirt. Buying, selling, or renting a new place… now there’s an idea. But knowing your luck, the next place will probably be haunted or have a resident rat family. Oh, and for a bit of a laugh, your lucky item is a rubber duck. Why, you ask? Well, if you do flood the place with that waterfall, at least you’ll have something to float on.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!