Blimey, you and your merry band of misfits have come to a resolution that’s as cheeky as a bare bum in a nunnery. It’s rarer than a vegetarian at a butcher’s convention for you to gamble, but you’re assured you’ve pulled the right cracker this time. Despite the fact that things could go tits up, there’s a whole lot of good stuff to be had if it all pans out, and that’s what you’re banking on, you audacious bugger. Your lucky item is a pair of knickers that you found on the floor of a pub. God knows what they’ve seen, but they’re certainly luckier than the poor sod who lost them.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!