Well, well, well, look at you, getting all sensible and pragmatic about life, you boring old sod. Prepared to bite the bullet and swallow the consequences of your cock-ups today, are we? You and your motley crew have been chin-wagging, chewing the fat over the potential fallout of some hare-brained scheme. And when you lot finally come up with some sort of verdict, you’ll be patting yourselves on the back like a bunch of self-satisfied penguins. Well done, Einstein. Now, here’s a little nugget of wisdom for you: the lucky phrase for today is “I’m not as think as you drunk I am.” Repeat it in the mirror, preferably while sober. Funny how it sounds like an excuse you’d use after a few too many at the pub, innit?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!